Writings: I might regret this in the future

This would be distinctive  entry I have ever written. Actually, I try to write this short random writings right after my group involved in the project that focus on the topic of sexual harassment. It might be related to some point and the effect of the harassment itself. Enjoy reading! You can comment your thoughts about this topic as well. Thank you.

I might regret this in the future

When someone I knew for so long changing into unknown creepy stranger.

I don’t know where to turn to.

Orange sky that once filled with natural perfume of spring’s flower turn into an ashy and nauseated smell.

I try to run and jumped from one bus to another just to removed the smell.

But, sadly, it followed me.

I managed to escaped from his big arms.

I managed to make the room filled with red and yellow.

He hurt so freaking bad that he pisses himself.

I run.

I run.

I run.

As I walked away, I tried to remember about anyone I know. But, I barely remember any of them.

I was deaf and blind, and forgot about the life I led before.

I run till my feet hurt.

I run till my tears dry.

I run till I am nowhere.

I knew one thing. I faced him, I thought it was a proper confrontation at first.

The more I run, the more I would regret this in the future.

I hurt. He hurt.

I did not want to turn into other beast, I did not want to be like him.

All I want is freedom.

But being free was expensive, you could not  just exchange it with some golds. You need to sacrifice more than you think you should.

I sacrificed my beliefs, my heart for irresponsible human being like him.

I might regret my confrontation, but I would regret if I did not do it.

I might regret that I did not give myself an options to live the life where I could be anything I wanted to be.

I could be a bird, I could be an artist, I could be a grandma that live her old days with all her favorite people.

Would it be possible for me? For I am here, lying on the wet, smelly dirt.

Create your own opportunity in life! You deserve to decide what kind of life you live. Spread your wings little owl, explore and choose anywhere you want to be. Build your own nest.

50 Seemingly Fun Bucket List

Hi!

Today I would like to talk about Bucket List, my own bucket list. I have wrote about this topic before, you can check it here. I want to write a new version of it. This list actually another wish list, but it is more mature one, (Haha! Probably, I hope so)

Bucket list talks about list of things that someone wants to do or achieve before they die. The term gained the popularity when movie titled Bucket List starring Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson aired in 2007. Have you seen the movie? It was a great movie. Two old men try to fulfill their dream after they get terminal illness that brought them up together despite of their background.

Okay back to the business. Disclaimer, the bucket list that I will write here consists of things that I consider to achieve (I put a lot of thoughts on it) and things that spontaneously and seemingly fun to do before I hide among the dirt.

Without no further due, here we go!

1. Go back to Spain and spend some beautiful summer morning by the beach.
2. Have a small house with a garden full of veggies. (Hey! Don’t forget my dogs and cats)
3. Continue my study to higher degree. (Cultural Diplomacy major!)
4. Developing the puppet theater group I am currently with.
5. Start working and creating with my besties (the dark humor merch)
6. Going to Madagascar
7. Eat a sago worms in Papua
8. Cook paella with a real saffron
9. Surf in Lakey with my partner 😌
10. Go to United States of America
11. Road trip in Grand Canyon
12. Spend a week in Thailand
13. Go to Japan before 30
14. A day in Ghibli Museum
15. Meet my Facebook friends in their home country
16. Visit Petra, Jordan
17. Camping with my best friend in one of Lombok’s beaches
18. Get married and plan my own wedding
19. Climb a mountain once in a lifetime
20. Collect all hand machines
21. Has a secretive tattoo 😏
22. Build my own bookcase
23. Write and publish book
24. Sail in Komodo island
25. Cook and serve dinner for my bestfriend and special one
26. Going somewhere for artist residency
27. Sew my future kids their own clothes
28. Sew my own wedding dress
29. Holiday trip with my two best buddies (Arta and Ditto) Yay!
30. Spend a month in Italy
31. Go to Iceland and watch Sigur Ros
32. Go to summer music festival
33. Own a small garden
34. Harvest and cook veggies from my own garden
35. Perform puppet theater abroad
36. Have my own DIY workshop
37. Join half marathon
38. Snorkeling in Karimun Jawa
39. Spend a week in Natuna with Rangga
40. Visit the treasure hunter museum
41. Enjoy an afternoon in Montmartre
42. Go to Rome with train
43. Visit Germany and stay in one of cool airbnb accommodation
44. Trip to all Southeast Asian countries
45. Visit Budapest
46. Eat kebab in Bismillah Restaurant in Barcelona (Again)
47. Swim in dead sea
48. Visit Hawaii
49. Have my own exhibition
50. Play in snowy road

The list could go on and on actually. But, I stop in number 50 because this 50 seemingly fun items need years to be completed.

I do not want to set time for all these adventures, I just want to enjoy every single of it. No pressure to myself if I cannot finish all of it. Life could lead you into different direction and most of the things are mistery for us to be found.

Keep dreaming little owl.

Cheers!

City of Love: Gotta be there again!

Eiffel, captured from Paris Metro. Photo: Personal property

Hola amigos!

I am back with another story of how my childhood dream come true.

While I was in Spain for student exchange, I spent my short winter vacation to France and Italy. It was worth visiting, definitely. Actually, I am not the type of adventurer-kinda girl. I prefer to stay at my room listening to a good music, while reading or crafting. But, France is like on top of my bucket list. I have to go there. It was my dream since I was a kid.

Right before I booked my flight and accommodation, Paris got bombed by some irresponsible adult called themselves as muslim. I am as a muslim condemned that action. It is never right to killed innocent people, my religion never teach such action. I knew that the situation will be very different, the security would be higher than before. But, I decided to booked my flight on 9th december, from Valencia to Paris. Since, it was my only chance to visit while I was in Europe. I booked the cheapest flight, it was cheaper than flight cost from Jogja to my hometown Lombok. It costs me 10 euros for one flight, I booked two more from Paris to Pisa, and my flight back from Pisa to Barcelona.

I was so excited that I listed all of places I wanted to go to. But, I know two days would not be enough to explore Paris, I insisted to go to most of the places though. It was very tiring but worth it. I spent my short holiday with two friends, Ditto and Ianthe. I will post another entry on my trip in Paris and some tips from what I experienced.

It was a really fascinating journey. I have watched Le Fabuleux Destin d’Amelie Poulain a thousand times and I really wanted to go to Sacre Coeur, (remember the scene when Amelie return the photo album). I wanted to see Eiffel Tower, Louvre, and how Paris metro is. We went from 10am in the morning until 11pm on and off the metro, walked on cobble stones, tasted eclair and croissant.

I never imagine that my childhood dream was right in front of my very eyes, crystal clear. And it's still feel unreal until this very moment. I used to draw Eiffel tower since I was in primary school, get so excited about Paris, learnt French for a while, bought wallpaper shaped like Sacre Coeur. I even created book of dream when I was in junior high school, and of course this city is on my list. I am glad, I created such dream and make it happen.

I will post another entry on my favorite spots in Paris. Thank you for visiting my blog.

Cheers!